Monday, January 08, 2007

Believe it or not: The TV evangelist sent me money

by Frank Lockwood

I gave my first donation to a TV evangelist when I was nine years old. The preacher was Rex Humbard of Akron. My tax-deductible contribution totalled 27 cents. I received urgent fund raising appeals for the next three years.

Since then, I've seen requests for money from Jimmy Swaggart and Jerry Falwell, Oral Roberts and Franklin Graham. But this week, for the first time ever, a TV preacher SENT MONEY TO ME.

Pastor Bob Tilton of Tulsa, Oklahoma mailed me a crisp new $1 bill from the federal reserve bank in Minneapolis along with an upbeat, computer-generated letter.

"I TELL YOU, FRANK, THIS IS YOUR TIME!...Frank, hold this "seed dollar" in your hand as you continue to read the words: "IN GOD WE TRUST." I sent you this dollar bill as a seed to help you Prime the Pump for the wellspring of blessings that will flow like a river out of you."

To get those blessings flowing like an Oklahoma oil well, Pastor Bob said I need to take that dollar and mail it back to Tulsa -- along with my best gift of $29, $49, $199 or $499.

"Frank, when I receive your answer back, I am going to send you some anointing oil to help you believe God for a continuous miracle. When you receive this anointing oil, anoint your wallet and all your bills as our Point of Contact...for your CONTINUOUS MIRACLE."

Pastor Bob used to air on television stations across America. But after Prime Time Live aired damning allegations of ministerial misconduct, he faded from the screen. He's back however (with his third wife and four french poodles) preaching his get-rich-quick spiritual schemes on BET. I caught his show on a recent trip to Arkansas and called the toll-free number. Now, he says, I too can reap financial blessings.

Many TV evangelists seek donations. But Tilton goes after those who are poor and struggling. His letter asks "How much do you need to pay all your debts? Write your answer here: $ _______"

Then it asks, "What is your biggest debt?_______________"

For those scraping by, he writes: "If it's just impossible for you to give $29 along with this dollar bill, then give the closest thing you have to that and send it..."

It's a spiritual pyramid scheme. But when Pastor Bob sowed money in my life, I'm afraid it fell among thorns.

Pastor Bob urged me to leave this new seed faith dollar in my Bible overnight and then mail it back to him. But I sowed it in a Herald-Leader soda machine instead (after inspecting it carefully to make sure it wasn't counterfeit.) Just as Esau threw away his inheritance for a bowl of pottage, I traded my shot at "unlimited blessings, unlimited miracles, unlimited prosperity" for a cold, 65-cent can of Diet Coke. With the remaining 35 cents, I made a down-payment on a Mounds bar.

Pastor Bob, if you're reading my blog, please SEND MORE MONEY. Don't be stingy -- mail me "YOUR BEST GIFT" -- and a copy of your free book Learn How to Pay Your Bills -- Supernaturally!

(Yes, he's really written a book by that title. And yes, he's offering it for free on his website.)

Pastor Bob's website:

Wikipedia's entry on Pastor Bob:


At 10:40 AM, Blogger ChriS & Yvette Ferguson said...

Pastor Bob is not our Beloved Rev Bob.

At 4:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Readers,

Howdy from the Grange Hall here in the Emerald Isle. Reverend Bob really appreciates this clarification by Brother Ferg-e-son. Reverend Bob hates poodles and would certainly waste the buck on a great big bottle of Ale-8 (thats for all you folks down there in Can-tucky)!

The meetins just about ready to start so I gotta get crackin! My best to all you IHOPers. Everyones most favorite guy...

The Most Reverend Bob

PS: When Reverend Bob next travels to KC, do you think he could work them light pedals in the new prayer room??? Now that would be a real sign and a wonder! Kind of reminds Reverend Bob of the 60's, very cool!


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